So I asked him to take her home to her boyfriend. How can i trust or get him to admit. Never jump in a car and head to a friends house though, youll be in too much of an emotional state to drive safely. He has started shaving (which he never did), brushing his teeth more, and showering at night and in the morning. I dont know if this is a connection or if I am just being paranoid. Then other weeks, its as if he cant have enough sex with me. My prayer is that you rally the courage to find the answers that are in your gut, and that you become strong and wise enough to face what you know to be true before it causes more damage in your life. I heard a text come thru. After I saw everything on facebook, I went to see his skype. For instance, the other day I was going to go lay down in his room, and he said, hold on I need to go in there first. I had bad vibes about her from the beginning she was entirely too friendly in our male dominated workplace. The love of my life has become a monster and an abusive POS who deserves to be locked up. I planted a recorder in my husbands car but he found it. I feel so lost. Personally , I think my husband cant and should not be married . This is not a religious debate, and if you are considering replying with such, dont waste your time. 2 weeks ago when I was visiting him he said I should look for an apt. Has had several FB conversations that made my jaw drop, telling one of his old friends (female) I am crazy, hes stuck, hes stuck between a rock and a hard place because of our child, he would prefer a single life right now, I dont love him the same. Not one anyone would even notice. I restrained myself and did not do it. With local traffic, I can never be sure of when hell get home from work, so leaving early and getting home late could be valid, or a perfect cover. But sounds like he really does love you, and your marriage might work out for better. I could walk away from this and just take it a misunderstanding..and I wanting a blood test. She does not believe he feels there is a problem. nothing .. just dont pay him any attention.. thats the best way .. one day he will see what he lost if he really loves u.. act as if u dont care what he is doing , go out with friends and have a good time .. i promise the thoughts are still there and u wish he was there .. Do U!! Am just tired and i dont know what else to do. We saw each other once or twice a week (I now live across the state of CT so we cant see each other too much more). But this last time, he told me he just wanted to see another womans naked body!!!! When he is home, he sleeps all the time. Baloney. I dont know. To avoid potential loss - their marriage, their kids, their home, their finances, their social standing, etc. He is ALWAYS ACCUSING of different things but wen i ask him he gets mad and defensive. To focus on ME, and whats left of my life .. and Heal from this, all while knowing I am doing the most loving thing for ME. He has these blow up sessions where he will freak out on me when he finds out ive been threw his stuff. My insecurities spill over into our relationship because my ex cheated on me and I am afraid every other guy I am involved with will cheat on me because of it. Whats this really? Come to find out this lady had left her husband a few yrs ago for another man at the plant and he works the opposite shift as them. Maybe you could talk to your friends and find out where they got their information. At least seven more affairs. That leads to the day he accidentally autosaved a picture she sent him and I found it. Also he texts me 4-5x a day and has ever since we met. I dont know why I still love him but I do LOVE him. I eventually got over the hurt and devostation of his cheating and found our marriage was so much better than it has ever been. My world was shattered. And he has his phone on him all the time, sometimes he leaves without telling me and his excuse is that his walking the dogs but when I call him while his walking the dogs it seems like his in the beach bathroom all the time (we live right next to the beach). Nope!!! https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-find-a-good-husband/. Well I just got the new phone bill only to find out he started calling her again, I was a complete wreck..I called her and let her know what I thought of her, I know that wasnt a good move but I did feel better, and then I called my husband..He tried to minimize his actions and. My husband admitted he never stopped 4 ongoing emotional affairs during our entire marriage. Do you know deep down that something isnt right with your marriagebut youre scared to face it? Most of the questions seem to be coming from women who are in marriages or long term committed relationshipswhat do you think about handling cheating in new relationships? Do what works best for you both, not what anyone else tells you is right or wrong. He has admitted he cheated but he always says it like I cheated instead of just sounding flat out he cheated. We talked and I told myself God forgave and I dont go to church , but I tried so hard to find it in my heart to forgive . In March of 09 my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Not only that, he risked your health too. Time went on & I let it pass, still feeling guilty For not following through! But your goal is to stay calm, think it over, and make a . Constantly trying to make up for his mistakes and telling me he loves me everyday and that hasnt changed but a week ago I seen some disturbing texts between him and his fast friend concerning a females number and her calling my husband that Sunday night on his cell.we had made plans to spend that Sunday together but he never came home from work that morning we he finally called he said he was taking a Co worker to a pet store in another town and then to a second town anyway he never comes home all night.next day when I confront him he blows up and we argue for two days and hes constantly been hanging out at night and I just dont know which way to go anymore my heart is in many pieces I try to trust but my heart cant my stomach turns at the thought I just cant go through the past again I need serious help I have no strength left. I doubt that I will fully trust him again. He lies to me about everything he has a past of heroin use I fear hes using again. 3 third times a charm right. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. I dont know what to do. what is the best way to find out the truth? I m so tired with taking this all in but I have no other choice except bearing it . My kids were brought up in that messed up house, where they didnt see a strong woman, their mother, me because I didnt know how to say Im sooo unhappy, I want you to leave & never come back.no more explanations!! One big thing though if you do end up with anyone else in the future, myself and my mates all have the same moan about our wives. However God did say that man can only leave his wife if she cheats I have always assumed god was speaking about all his children when he said man.So if you catch him again and that chance sounds pretty high (if we were in vegas I would bet on him doing it rather then not sorry to say) leave him!!! sorry I loath hate it with a burning passion . I respect privacy even at my expense. I will never do anything like that again. I will stop for now. i started working a month ago and all of a sudden my husbund doesnt want to have sex with me.he chashed me out of our room just because i asked him to brush my daughters hair in the moning because she only gets up after i leave and now im staying in a store room and he is making me sleep on the floor im not even alowed to sleep on the blow up matress.today i made spagetti and mince and he told me a friend of his can make it better then me and he did not even touch it and refuses to tell me who this friend is.he seems to blame me if something goes wrong even if its not even my doing. I havent had any gut feelings but im still scared hes cheating again and its starting to affect my everyday life. Just saw a motivational video that said to always stay in the present. I doubt he believes me because he said it was still recording but he did not know how to turn it off. some days is better than others. he treats me like the he does with the kids. When women whose husbands lie about cheating are later asked if there were any red flags earlier in the relationship, 95% of them say YES. Most women, I think, would feel that way, too. That was a year ago. But, his lack of actions in the bedroom make me think he was telling me how he really feels. But the more I hold it in the more it would make me loose my mind. There is no question he is cheating and possible on drugs. I was wondering if I should just leave him now or wait until I have concrete evidence? I hav never been cheated on before (that I know of) and my 20 yr marriage ended because o other reasons .. my ex is now someone I appreciate because my now fiance cheats constantly and I think with hookers. Stop being in denial. Ok so I dont know if I need advice or answers maybe both right now my boyfriend or fiance has been going through issues. When my husband returned I had every intention to confront him about it, but I just couldnt. my husband gets mad when i ask him to do anything, i am 5 1/2 months pregnant and high risk. He has his cell phone attached to his side constantly only to turn it off and LOCKED when hes sleeping. I even started up smoking. It sounds that way on a lot of these comments actually. My divorce left me dead broke and this man has helped me tremendously in that manner. I was left empty. Every time he has a phone, he is so protective with it, he always has it with him wherever he goes, sometimes sleeps with it. does he realy want to be with you as husband why is he keeping you for soo long as girlfriend. Its come to the point they are stealing my clothes knowing I dont have much that fits me do to weight loss from stress and nerves being shot. Now, if you walked in on him in bed with another woman, then you know he's cheating for sure. I didnt even recognize that I was severely depressed all those years! We planned both of our children and as recently as yesterday he was talking about trying for a girl. But because of his promise in front of lords, he swears to stop cheating on me again. Beyond Affairs. I always felt and believed in being faithful to your partner, and always told myself if anyone ever cheated on me I would waste my time with themyet here I am with him because I love him, and feeling miserable and paranoid at times when he is not with me. The more you wait, the less strong you will feel coming out of it. Part 1: Not Knowing What Happened. I agree with you: destructive relationships dont get better, and its better to get out as soon as you think hes cheating. I am also having a hard time dropping the daily talks. Id love to chat with you privately if youre interested. He wont. I hurt and want to get away from him. When that isnt satisfying enough when the spark of that excitement wears off then it progresses to meeting in person, dinners, drinks, hotels, etc. i totally lost it then. What you dont realize is the pain you are enduring is worse and unending until you make that change. Now, I just keep a diary to document his behavior. But i have to let go.. I dont think I will ever forgive him for what he put me through and yet he says i was unsupportive and ungrateful for him trying to earn a living! Why but he is saying I have boyfriend.then I found he is talking to at least 4 other girls and one is from his childhood friend with benfit.he is talking to this girl from a year a go and that time he and this girl said to me not gonna contact each other agin.but she keep contact him one in a while then he told me to he is going to fix his friens car who I know and he is living little far a way so he said hes gonna stay the night. I also found hed subscribed to a number of online cheating websites for married people..dating back to before he proposed to me. I do think a man would be crazy to give up a woman who offers what you suggest. What is holding you back from walking out of your marriage? U know the man that is awesome in public and monster all the way home. He knew I wasnt lying as he researched himself and told me the truth. but, there was never any sex involved (so he says). men do not want to father as many kids as possible, and they know that if they get a girl preg theyll be found out, and will have to pay child support. In fact, he did lie to me here recently about where he told me he ways going and where he actually went. She was very pretty she was wearing a black string binkini and had a perfect body. Lord knows there will be a man who wants someone who will always be there by his side! Nothing against you more against them. One night he was on call at the local tow company he worked for and a text message came in that he slept through. This may not be the case. Rebuilding trust is possible but involves a lot of work if the husband is willing to take responsibility (not blaming it on genes) and explain how and why he did it in the first place. I lied to him once about having sex with an ex because my ex is black and he had a problem with it. People getting married. And it hurts to be slapped in the face with this realism. It took me a couple of months to start sleeping with him. some people even make a new email address that only their lover will have. You deserve better than settling for less. We have a great family life and we both seem very happy. Sometimes I will see messages from girls he works with and he talks about them more than he ever did before we moved here. I have been married for 5 years. I will risk sounding rude here but I completely understand your husband. Soooo, you can simply tell him that you love him and that you are aware of the affair Ask him to please end it and hope that he does. When I call that office I only speak to him and would never play such games. Love yourself! We still had feelings for each other. It is easy. We spoke of how much we loved each other, sex was never an issue as we are/were both sexually attracted to each other, so I thought. at his work place. well i think i just have been sdestroyied after so much time well that last chic about 3 years ago what i caught was texts and phone logs of times he called. More than 50% of all men have cheated in a love relationship, says Dr Oz. He cannot tell the truth because the truth will expose him as someone not regarded as honest or honorable. I trust him. Help? He has tried to reassure me time and again and has been patient. In five year with my husband , he has never said another women name, in bed while he was sleeping I asked him he said it was a nightmare and he doesnt remember the nightmare SHOULD I BE WORRIED? do that. Reading the texts between them two shattered my whole world. hi there. Unless he was willing to help me repair it. That he told her do to that. I recently wrote an article called Signs of a Cheater, based on a book called The Silent Wife. Im 31 been married since I was 16 have 3 kids by him and had my tubes tied because we both agreed we didnt want anymore kids right now and if we decided in the future we wanted more we would do whats needed to concieve again.well now I have 2 stepkids of which one I raise(long story)yes he cheated twice with 2 different women lot of drama crazy females litterally.my mom has been married to 3 different men and I made a vow I would only get married once in my life as he knew divorce has never been an option in my book.marriage was one thing I was gonna do right.well we finally started buying our own place 3 years ago and hes been amazing totally changed for the better. me! Abiola- I feel bad for you, but the writing is crusty on the wall. We were young and stupid and I thought we had grown since, but I am worried he is cheating again. Thats the question, bcause it seems like all men are cheaters! So how odd is that. I am married. Ive been through depression as i was beat severely by my father while going up. All of this happened 2 years ago after we had our baby. Finally arrives the moment for us to meet again and this time we stay together. I tried to do that however; I found myself getting depressed, moody and becoming someone I refuse to be. Then a girls page. It turns out I wasnt really there due to the external conditions of my life, but due to the INTERNAL CONDITION within myself. I felt like the STUPIDEST woman alive!! Like someone having a baby. My heart just sank. Woman up and have more self respect for yourself than you do. bs 3. You have to learn how to deal with the situation and find out FOR SURE if he is cheating or not. I never thought Id be the other girl but it happened and I hope him and his wife get a better emotionally connection. I also saw she hadnt responded to him. You need anything else or any other device or want to contact me just let me know. Its sad the authorities only think he wants to see his son and that I must be the problem since he was beating me. Writing to women who are victims of cheaters is like asking dog lovers if you can use one dog for a violent scene in a movie and try to justify why you are asking the question to dog lovers. Watch his reaction and be aware that he can talk himself out of a wet paper bag and then listen to your gut. He quotes it. Ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Well Im going through a tough time now to be because I found out my husband was Saying I love you and other intimacy stuff to another women on his gmail chat but he says he Was just saying it to make her happy I dnt love her he says how do I believe him ? Make Him the 3rd cord in your relationship which cannot be easily broken! We began to go out more often with other friends and her, and we became close friends. I just found out through pics on his phone and he said it was just porn. Not be raised in a dysfunctional family!!! It finally evolved to me confront my husband about them being emotionally attached to one another(since that was obvious especially on her end). I think its progress that he admitted to this and did so as an attempt to save our marriage. In some form or another, you need to NOT let this consume you. His patterns have changed drastically, He does work fulltime and go to school twice a week. Of course your boyfriend wants you and her! Me and my kids and his kids and her and his kids. He right away directs anger to me for even mentioning it. You arent the reason why he took his wedding ring off and started hitting on women, thats all down to him and its his fault your marriage is failing. I did not waste my time to put effort into getting hard facts. It was a women but he said it was his friend who is male. Were barely past our first wedding anniversary. I feel like I should trust my husband but he lies. Hes no longer as sweet as before. The reason why this happens lies in the twin forces of ego and a concept called cognitive dissonance. Im 18yrs old and Im having an affair with a guy whos 37 he always accuse me of cheating becuz Im sexy everyone wants me sometimes I get so fed up of it he constantly keep pushing and accusing me until I found out hes acting different when I ask him if hes cheating on me becuz my sister saw him with a nxt woman. My husband dosent show me the attention that he used to and I spend hours in the gym keeping fit and healthy while he slobs out on the couch wathcing golf! Through the years I have heard many stories from co-workers about he and 2 of his close friends who chased women every weekend while in the bars, cheating over and over again. Lately ive felt like he hasnt done anything tht he is just talking to these girls but i dont want to let my self be luled into false sense of security. Ive done itbut it goes against my God given instincts.. A week ago he left a 2 min voicemail on my phone with him and a girl having a conversation. Ive been making 36 yrs the 1st of November. of course we r not perfect as parents but we do try to better ourselves. i understand it difficult to handle that but somtimes also when u are on your own, you dont ask your husband,boyfrien, fiance his where about he always confuse thinking, why is my wife not asking me this and that, then he will start thinking is she having a affirs with someone, then he will start to be ashame of him self and slowly if he is really love you he will change, unless he is having secret that is hidding from you. It with a burning passion for married people.. dating back to before he proposed to about! Its progress that he admitted to this and did so as an attempt to our. Else to do anything, I just found out through pics on his phone and had. Situation and find out where they got their information love relationship, says Dr Oz maybe you could talk your. 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