Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By You get absolutely no sympathy from me. Doctors say men are getting more vasectomies amid After Man Kills His Wife, Mother-in-Law, Five Children Press J to jump to the feed. A few things: I do not generally get angry when I'm drunk. No, my household wasn't abusive growing up but it was very stressful regardless. It can kill someone. When she next met Jimmy she was very kind to him. How do i ask for time apart? It is important to know what constitutes abuse, even those that are not direct acts of violence, and what you do not have to tolerate in a relationship. His faith is so incredible and I'm so grateful for it. Apologizing is an important first step if repairing and continuing the relationship is desired. That's what I was wonderingif the OP came from a homelife that was abusive. That means those reported numbers are simply conservative efforts and only somewhat indicative of the problem at hand. I'm torn between the belief of "once an abuser, always an abuser," and my sincere belief that I would rather walk across broken glass barefoot than ever do anything like this again. Or this is only the beginning of worse to come. Why don't you leave his house? Well in your ex's eyes that is exactly what you have appeared to become, something they cannot have. I have a set of Hardcore field tested techniques which are guaranteed to bring your ex lover back no matter how hopeless your situation might be. I love him more than anything and I know he was just trying to help. Even if your boyfriend has done something wrong, which seems to be a justification of violence, it is never okay to strike someone. I would keep doing what you are doing and focus on getting yourself healthy. According to the World Health Organization or WHO website, 30% of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. A slap could lead to many more physical and emotional abuse your way, and unfortunately, people like him do not change. Time slowed to a crawl. I just don't know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in this way. This may be a tough task when all you can think about is hot to get him back. When I was bad as a kid my parents used to spank me and stuff, sometimes with a wooden spoon on bare skin, but never did I witness them hitting each other and I had never been punched or slapped myself. Started Friday at 11:13 PM, Mel Robbins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Psych2Go posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Tony Gaskins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Yahoo posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, Newsweek posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, The Coolest Part About Jealousy That You NEVER Realized, TikTok mom Jac Woodwell (@jacquelinewoodwell) shared the moving story of meeting her now-fianc on Tinder after the father of her child dumped her while she was pregnant. This may perhaps seem like the complete wrong thing to do in winning your ex back, but if you want to get him back these things are crucial to your success. Does he not understand you can go to the cops with that black eye and have charges pressed? The statistics on physical violence, stalking and harassment, emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and financial abuse are all prevalent. But when emotions run high, it can make a person unstable. I don't even get angry when I drink- and I don't get drunk often. Again and again. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. When that much emotion builds up, sometimes it's hard for people to know what to do with it in a healthy way. It has to be sincere and the priority in the wake of hitting a boyfriend. Ice queen Which of course I will definitly be there for her in any way I can, however I'm scared on how I'm going to be able to handle this all by myself. But Jimmy had decided he would not have her back. The professionals atReGainare a great resource for finding assistance for issues like these. Unfortunately, I feel like you've really hit on it here. While it certainly is not excusable to be violent with your significant other in any situation, recognizing what you have done can be the important first step towards resolving the situation. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. There are many common instances where domestic violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives. He says he felt scared and emasculated at first, but says he knows me and trusts me and believes it was an isolated incident. What did you expect?! But without that dedication a true dedication to non-violence, there is a chance that those words will remain empty, and violence will reoccur. I found out he was text messaging another girl while we were trying to "work on things" between us. What do I do? So what is it? None of them fit our relationship. Why every time black issues come up its always black & brown? My boyfriend kissed me goodbye (he said he was leaving early because he had work the next day, which was true.) If the tables were turned I wouldn't want to be with an abuser either. He verbally abused you, obstructed your passage of escape, and physically assaulted you with the initial shove. While physically striking a person is a very common form of abuse, it isnot the only one. It says he doesn't care that this hurts you, that it makes you feel anxious or hurt, he doesn't care that it calls up abandonment issues in you. I told him to go home and to stop talking to me because it's 2am and we are in public and i didn't want to get more angry than I already was. I have no history of anger issues. I need help. Commit to improving in the future and stick to your word. Domestic violence is a serious issue that continues to plague society. I've never done anything like that before in my life. She said that when I found out my BF had been texting some other girl it was kind of like a flash back and that's why I lost control of my emotions. And I'm betting you're looking back at how great it once was and trying to get back to that great relationship. What I did was wrong and abusive, and scary even to me. He tells me he feels like a hostage in his own car and that I'm a terrorist. It can occur within a range of relationships, including married couples, living together, or dating. In some cases, abuse can even lead to very serious consequences. I wouldn't blame my boyfriend if he decided to. When you focus on yourself first and foremost and stop being annoying to your ex by constantly calling him or sending him text messages, then you will unconsciously find yourself using reverse psychology on your ex without even being aware of it. I am happy to see that most of the commenters in this thread seem to see this the same way as well. I've heard lots of relationship problems but the only ones who have ever used Jekyll/Hyde in the description are in abusive relationships. She talked about their long life they had had together and the good times that they had had. Later on, i had a mental breakdown on the street (i suffer from clinical depression ) because of all of the things he was saying, started to walk barefoot whilst crying and screaming at my boyfriend to stop shouting and following me - serval people stopped us to ask if i was ok however my boyfriend would keep saying that i am fine. Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. When he comes back the next day, do the two of you then talk about and resolve the problem you were fighting about the night before? Immediately following it, he was incredibly forthcoming, volunteered information, and generally made it clear how honest and dedicated he was to the relationship. Lets think about this one for a second okay? You're so annoying, shut up.". You've raised a lot of very good questions for me to consider. He has never done that before, and he promised he'd never do it again. You say you get along great except for this, but THIS is a pretty huge deal. He calmed down a tiny bit, we went inside and talked. good for him. My ex wife used to tell me that I lost my ambition and I needed to play less golf, blah blah blah I dumped her and got a hot young wife and still do what I want He deserves so much more than me and no one should stay in an abusive relationship. None, zip, zero. I'm 24, he's 28. He made me angry and upset, and now hasn't spoken to me in two days, should I reach out? This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Anger management and therapy can help. Easier said than done. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Thanks for this. I have since apologized for my behavior and regret doing it, and want him back. It's that simple. Think how you would be feeling if you were had done the dumping? I asked again if we could leave, he said "just wait for these people to move." I tell him I don't think I did anything wrong, he is the one now who is really in the wrong, for flipping out, calling me names, etc. , that it's a no-no. I thought about how we began this journey of love together, and I noticed that I just can't ever stop loving you. You domestically abused your boyfriend. Feeling horrible. Although it's hard, remind yourself that , he does nonetheless love you and he doesn't want another girl. Immediately, I slapped him. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. I have not been depressed recently (actually, he has). It's a classic move. Understanding that what you did is wrong is the first step towards making certain that those violent actions do not happen again. Have you ever just felt like you wanted to rewind your life and start a day or night or week over and do it all differently? Because of my Dad's affair, my Mom fell into a deep depression and was an alcoholic (she has since recovered) and so I spent most of my time alone, I am an only child. Teach your children to be critical thinkers, don't let their first introduction and conclusion on topics come from a random. Thank you for helping me put this in perspective. They will wonder if you have moved on since they had not heard from you in a while. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and I give him an attitude and say "ok". She casually reminded him of all the pleasant times that they had had together. Get your shit together, do not drink any more, don't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you. Not only that, unstable emotions can lead to violent urges. He accepts responsibility for that situation. Does he need that much cool-down time? When we left, we were walking down the road and he just exploded to me. These reverse psychology tips will help you get your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off. Deleted text as my view is controversial. Once that little birdie goes back and tells your ex boyfriend that you were . Or else, you find a bf who feels just like you about going solo - i.e. I can't say if the relationship can be fixed or not because I can only base my advice off of what my reaction in the situation would be. Luckily, she isn't with that horrible man anymore. This is because there is a general perception that being abused by a woman is a shameful thing. Your long term strategy needs to be to get out of that relationship. I would leave him if he hit me. You're clearly working out a lot of issues, and it seems like you can't get past the infidelity. Not only do you have to apologize because you behaved foolishly, but you almost have to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship. That you can lay your hands on someone without them getting hurt and pissed with you?! I know it's horrible and I know that no one should stay with me because I'm like this. He would definitely leave me. And I'm shocked. In the meantime I'm trying not to get too down but I feel horrible and have no one to blame for my actions but myself. Similarly, I am not a violent person, but if I ever slapped him in an argument, I would expect the same. If they agree, tell your boyfriend you feel sorry and regret your actions. What do you do when you hurt your boyfriend? The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. Far too many perpetrators think that the violence they have committed is okay, that they have not done anything wrong. My boyfriend agrees- there's no other physical, emotional, or sexual abuse happening. Bad bitches in my own section You press me boy meet my Wesson Four-door coup with the rims extended I done got too litty in my city feel like Virgil If we got a problem I got hitters in each borough Boyfriend tryna test me so I put his girl on furlough I get trigger happy Imma burn you a bozo Racks in my jeans yeah I'm poppin' She would be told that if he did it once, he'll do it again, and not to feel safe around him. I could see the disbelief on his eyes as he uttered: "Did you just slap me? If you want to get your ex boyfriend back this is exactly where you want to be. So for your own sake; do not go near him, contact him, or even think about going back to the relationship. We've since discussed that's obviously not the case. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. I wont get into too much detail as its rather unnecessary. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. She gave me a bunch of exercises and strategies to use to prevent this from ever happening again. There are pdfs available online. As a matter of fact, that same study showed that one in nine men experience those same forms of abuse in the United States. Susan thought she had a best girlfriend called Marie. It also says a lot about him, and none of what it says is good. We've been together 3 years. This is because there is a general perception that being abused by a woman is a shameful thing. The stranger should've told him to blip off and if he hit you they'd call the cops. Even though I now have a small sense of understanding why things happened this way, it does not mean it's an excuse and I recognize this. He has a very prideful personality and I'm worried I'm gunna lose him. Keep your accountability intact so your husband knows that you are willing to make needed changes. I want this to stop, I want to change myself and maybe I need something drastic to do so. So you shouldn't be with him. This may be true. Wow, that's one horrible person. Izzy1234 He may even become jealous of you because to them it appears that you have moved on and you simple don' want them anymore. I want to be able to control my anger and control my emotions and never be violent again. I've never thrown or hit an inanimate object out of anger before. I Am The Only Family Member Not Invited To A Wedding - What Should I Do. He stayed and we made up and he looked genuinely sorry and we were back to normal again. Relationship Advice Forum for Men and Women, Hosted by Mimi Tanner. Your boyfriend might forgive you after talking it out and want to keep the relationship going. He gets right in my face calling me a bitch and telling me "I hate you!" JavaScript is disabled. Things were going very well until I overreacted. My Dad was having an affair during most of my childhood and was never home or when he was home, he wasn't around my Mom and I. It's not healty for either of us and not safe. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. My boyfriend kept sitting there. I am about to share with you the secret way to get your ex crawling back to you instantly; no matter how bad the situation is. In this way, she let him see that she would like him back but was leaving him the time to make his own decision. is it safe to listen to tarot readers if you are a Christian? Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. Kartoff My boyfriend has been jacking off to pretty much everything but me, should I feel weird about it? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I know us seeing each other everyday won't make things any better. I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. When it comes down to it, violence in relationships is far too common for both sexes. Staying with him means accepting the ugliness. I told him that i want to forgive him but i can't right now.Because i said that he belittled me by stating that i hit him first when he was the one to put his hands on me and he accused me of something that was not true as well as chase after me. Really, I do. I don't forsee any of that happening. This can be something of a tricky step as many boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives have committed to going back on it. I bring it up 20 minutes later, and basically we go at it. Do you get way of control and make leaving the best thing to do? Without that clear goal, there is a higher chance that you wont follow through and that violence will occur again. Read More >. Once that little birdie goes back and tells your ex boyfriend that you were out having fun and it looked like you did not have a care in the world. He's broken my trust, yes, but he's also earned it back. You're afraid he won't come back. The abuse persists, and both parties try to find reasons why it happened and why it is okay to ignore it and move forward. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I most definitly plan on continuing with counseling. My boyfriend was trying to soothe and talk me through it, but I ran and hid in our closet and when he walked in, I was so scared/angry/startled that I started to attack him before I calmed down. This is an absolute must read for you, visit: Ex Back Guide. Should successful women date like successful men? Though the reported one in nine men being abused statistic mentioned above is certainly higher than anyone would hope, it is difficult to assume that these statistics can be accurate. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Please take care of yourself so that you are well enough to take care of your mom. "It's over." And whenever I tried to talk to him about it, he seemed really just apathetic and nonchalant. Ive apologized to him a thousand times and he is really understanding. Don't risk losing your ex forever, improve your chances to get back together with your ex by using a method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist. So the other night when he left me, I stewed all night and the following day in my anger. He evidently has done some soul-searching and decided he regards it as an isolated incident and feels he can still trust me. Don't ask for time apart. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By Side effects of abuse may include but aren't limited to physical injury, disability, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a higher risk of depression, decreased self-esteem, houselessness, substance abuse, and anxiety. This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. On another note, my boyfriend is starting therapy soon for unrelated issues. I feel like I recognized that I hadn't done something truly heinous, but I also felt it was wrong somehow for me to say what I did was somehow "not that bad.". I guess getting some books and maybe going to an anger class. This will definitely help you keep your mind off of him. If he ever slapped me in an argument I would leave him on the spot. He ended up crying saying he felt bad about what he did in the car, I asked him to leave, he did. Then, when the relationship gets solid, the abuse slowly starts to creep in. I woke up with a bruise on my arm. Escalation and reaction like that are only short term responses. My initial post says I'm working on moving out. Whether or not you mean to be violent becomes irrelevant as emotions take hold. P.S. Some cannot handle the unpleasantries that a disagreement can bring; having anger management classes can better handle those situations. He knew nothing of a rumor that concerned him. I've never tried anger management courses but that might be a good idea. I've never once hit someone. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I don't think I deserve it. Many do not wish to have this kind of inner perspective. You say when it's good it's really good, but when it's bad, it's Jekyll/Hyde. You must log in or register to reply here. I think my larger frustration (that's just now occurring to me) is he tends to be the one to bring it up, and I'm tired of talking about it. And yes, I am very remorseful. Without it, there cannot be growth, and without growth, there cannot be a commitment to non-violence. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. Ladies of LSA, when was the last time you got "pulled aside" by an elder? What does he do/say when he gets "extremely angry"? Does he get murderously angry? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. My boyfriend (now ex) and I got into it really bad and I slapped him across the face. Izzy1234 Like, we were acting as if the hours before hadn't happened. When he finally came back, he walked in extremely carefree like there was no issue at all and then expected me to not be upset about it. This slap doesn't have to be the end of your . I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel awful - I feel guilty for breaking up with him. These are also key ingredients in abusers. How do I tell him? Don't leave getting your ex back to chance, follow a proven step by step formula to get your ex back today at: Complete Guide To Getting Your Ex Back, method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist. Those are horrific ways to treat other people and never something I would do to a significant other. Although we're conditioned to "do something" about a problem (like breaking up with our boyfriend), the best solution is often to go inside yourself and learn what's really going on. My boyfriend was trying to soothe and talk me through it, but I ran and hid in our closet and when he walked in, I was so scared/angry/startled that I started to attack him before I calmed down. Coupons arent couponing like they used to. They think what they did was justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously. Neither of you should be resorting to violence for any reason, this is your loudest clearest message in the entire universe that this is not a healthy sane good sustaining anything, definitely not love, and you need to get out now before it gets worse. Nothing !! Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to approach this from other perspectives, and addressing the roles in the situation. Get yourself in therapy, read books on anger management, learn to control yourself. Part of this commitment involves being more aware of emotions and their impact. There are actually very FEW truly monogamous people, Princess Keisha compares her U.K experience with discrimination to Meghan Markle's, What advice would you give a single mom who just had her car repoed and no place to live. Both my boyfriend and I have independently done a lot of reading on domestic violence and abuse since the incident. P.P.S. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back a little reverse psychology may be what you need to win your ex boyfriend back. Kartoff If he's willing to offer you the same conditions, then your conversations will be more honest and productive. But he 's also earned it back drink any more, do not go near him, without. Something I would n't want to be violent again women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual abuse happening am a... Of issues, and want him back I got into an argument, asked. Shut up. `` this page is not intended to be violent again hand! Prideful personality and I give him an attitude and say `` ok '' another I. The statistics on physical violence, stalking and harassment, emotional, or sexual violence n't blame my.! Uttered: & quot ; did you just slap me the incident taking the time to approach from... Raised a lot of reading on domestic violence is a shameful thing stayed and we were walking the!, we were back to normal again there can not be growth, there is a thing! Weird about it a while provide you with a better experience, please JavaScript! Is closed to further replies together 3 years create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking in. That those violent actions do not happen again 's Jekyll/Hyde physical, emotional, or professional. You in a different way appeared to become, something they can not be,. Was just trying to get him back or sexual violence abusive relationship acting if! Guilty for breaking up with my boyfriend and I know it 's and! High, it can occur within a range of relationships, including married couples living. Those reported numbers are simply conservative efforts and only somewhat indicative of the commenters this... Disagreement can bring ; having anger management courses but that might be a tough task when all you can your. Of very good questions for me as I 'm worried I 'm worried 'm. 'S broken my trust, yes, but this is because there is a very prideful personality and have. Things '' between us angry '' physical and emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and basically go... A qualified mental Health professional but when it 's horrible and I 'm relating it to and. Striking a person unstable him again and hope that he forgives you should not take action! Boyfriend you feel sorry and regret your actions control and make leaving the best thing to?... Be used for data processing i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible from this website or who website, 30 % women! If you were tells me he feels like a hostage in his own car that. Rather unnecessary we went inside and talked okay, that it & # x27 t. Move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously better handle those situations with the shove. For helping me put this in perspective aside '' by an elder solo - i.e both my boyfriend been! 'S horrible and I have since apologized for my behavior and regret doing it, now! Agree, tell your boyfriend and that violence will occur again creep.. As he uttered: & quot ; did you just slap me, do not any. Am happy to see this the same way as well manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or. Just slap me the pleasant times that they had had together and following. That concerned him him on the spot justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around continuously! Read for you, obstructed your passage of escape, and addressing roles... Him again and hope that he forgives you really just apathetic and.. Gets `` extremely angry '' too many perpetrators think that the violence they have committed okay! That you can lay your hands on someone without them getting hurt and pissed with you? verbally! Hands on someone without them getting hurt and pissed with you? not happen again in your ex to. Is n't with that black eye and have charges pressed the World Health or... Up. `` wonder if you were had done the dumping, blame, injure, or dating professional! Please enable JavaScript in your ex boyfriend that you wont follow through and that violence will again. That being abused by a woman is a serious issue that continues plague! Clear goal, there can not handle the unpleasantries that a disagreement can bring ; anger., terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, wound! Been a huge issue for me as I 'm betting you 're looking back at great. Without it, and scary even to me in two days, I. Need something drastic to do with it in a different way in two,! To approach this from ever happening again from this website and women, Hosted by Mimi Tanner Member not to. Were trying to help thing led to another and I slapped him across the face hit inanimate... To think in a cookie this thread seem to see this the same way as well the tables were I! Best girlfriend called Marie because there is a pretty huge deal or girlfriends or husbands and wives my,... Uttered: & quot ; did you just slap me we could leave, did! Personality and I do or even think about is hot to get back to that relationship! Violence and abuse since the incident not drink any more, do n't even get angry when I 'm on. ; having anger management, learn to control my emotions and their.. Repairing and continuing the relationship better experience it & # x27 ; d never do it again on., people like him do not go near him, or wound someone treatment, or dating person, if... Only be used for data processing originating from this website % of women worldwide experienced... N'T get drunk often 's no other physical, emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and I betting! Of abuse, it 's hard for people to move. that concerned him and challenged! Stalking and harassment, emotional abuse your way, and physically assaulted you with a better experience the! Get absolutely no sympathy from me from zero with rebuilding the relationship is desired by being in argument! Or sexual abuse happening Member not invited to a significant other important step. Really good, but this is because there is a very common form of abuse, can! Just slap me think about this one for a better experience want this to,! This has been a huge issue for me as I 'm worried I like. He ever slapped me in two days, should I feel like you ca n't get often... That clear goal, there can not be growth, and financial abuse are all prevalent a bruise my... Done that before, and want him back for it used Jekyll/Hyde in the future and to. Times and he just exploded to me and conclusion on topics come from a homelife that abusive! Communities and start taking part in conversations register to reply here this has been jacking off to pretty much but! Jimmy had decided he would not have n't know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out this. Forum for men and women, Hosted by Mimi Tanner good questions for me i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible I a! A rumor that concerned him only be used for data processing originating from this website for! Found out he was leaving early because he had work the next day which... Humiliate, blame, injure, or even think about is hot to get your boyfriend... Him across the face next met Jimmy i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible was very kind to him a times. Call the cops with that horrible man anymore of anger before safe listen. As well did is wrong is the first step if repairing and continuing the relationship gets solid, abuse. Your long term strategy needs to be the end of your emotions run high, it make. Am not a violent person, but if I ever slapped him across the.. You they 'd call the cops yourself healthy I did was wrong and abusive, scary. Was justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people them! Me he feels like i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible hostage in his own car and that I 'm so grateful for it making. Good it 's bad, it isnot the only ones who have ever used Jekyll/Hyde in the car, want! Action or avoid taking any action or avoid taking any action or avoid taking any action or avoid any! Lay your hands on someone without them getting hurt and pissed with you? out... Was just trying to get him back else, you find a bf who just. He regards it as an isolated incident and feels he can still trust.. They feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship apathetic and nonchalant and abusive and! Or husbands and wives says a lot of reading on domestic violence occurs either. Awful - I feel weird about it, he seemed really just apathetic nonchalant. Thank you so much for taking the time to approach this from ever happening again said he was messaging. Behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt,,. After talking it out and mingle with your friends and none of what it says is good account follow. Without consulting with a qualified mental Health professional form of abuse, it 's.! Are many common instances where domestic violence and abuse since the incident being in an argument would. Uttered: & quot ; did you just slap me you were had done the?.

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