she said her step-sister, who has now changed her mind and would like to go to the concert and, as a result, she no longer wants to go with me. The feeling of not being able to breathe has nothing to do with manly strength or strength at all. I had a ton of brothers and a dad who were all involved in fishing, hunting, survival, etc. AITA for uninviting my dad from my graduation and telling him I never want to see him again? It might just be me, but I didnt get the vibe OP ever thought their behavior was okay. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. Sit them down and asked them what they think willfully endangering your fiance is funny. Would they be saying that to Tim's family if he had died of a fatal asthma attack because he didn't have access to his inhaler? Yessss!! Get ready to LC to NC. Hes marrying you. He used it to pay for a Mustang GT and when his father died he used the money to pay for the funeral expenses. That kind of behavior is toxic and pervasive. Jesus Fucking Christ! Press J to jump to the feed. See that sounds hilarious, these guys sound like if it was an allergy rather than asthma they'd give him his allergen, hide the EpiPen, and while he's gasping for air and rolling into the ambulance they're screaming "ITS JUST A PRANK, BRO!!" I do wonder why he said yes to taking a trip with these dangerous people. If you ever have children, whos to say they wont bad mouth him to them? You don't invite your bullies to your wedding. I wouldnt be speaking to them again. Talk with Tim about it and ask about his genuine opinion. You have a right to remove your father from your life for what he's done. Shits expensive. My guess is the OP and her mother have had this done to them all their life because the dad is most likely an abuser. But yeah of course the real assholes are her family. When you cut off toxic people, it makes room for better people in your life. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Pranks are supposed to be fun for both side and I don't think it was the case here nor before. Slashing tires? See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! You would at least need someone to take you to the store. NTA. And also tell them that this little habit stops here. It was a blast. These jokes kept escalating. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. NTA at all. Pranks are harmless fun. Who thought it was a great idea for an asthmatic person to go on a 3 day trip with 4 individuals who had already slashed his tires to "see what type of man he is"? I feel good because after years I have finally set a boundary for myself but I also feel sad because I always imagined my dad being there on my special day. It was them saying theyd apologize if OP insisted for me. The family is lucky they haven't called for a restraining order. I would have been gone the moment I realized my "partner" thought any of this was okay. Nice people don't let their partners be abused by their family. It's obvious they have preconceived ideas on what a real man is (going so far to risk your fiance health). NTA he's mad you are learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries. Throughout my life he was forcing me to take sides in wars I should've never been involved in but at 19 I finally refused to take a side. Also don't call him Timmy. They said they gained a little respect for him (how little and which abuse gave it to them?!) He's the "type of man" you decided to marry and that's all they need to fucking know. Your dad, uncle and cousins say they don't respect Tim, but I promise you Tim doesn't respect them and never will. But OP is NTA. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. This wasn't them 'having fun'. If anyone treated my husband like that I'd never speak to them again. That wasnt a prank or a joke, it was an act of cruelty. What about Tim feels any respect for him? And then expect better from family. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. NTA for uninviting a bunch of assholes from your wedding over (banned) frat bro type hazing. The men in her family are clearly toxic, and she seems to write it off as "boys will be boys". Has still he come backOK I am calling the police..God I hope nothing has happened to him.. I think you all let it go to far before you stood up for him. Thats near abuse. If they even slashed in a way that could be plugged. Doesn't make him soft, The men in your family are obviously deeply insecure, if they feel the need to hide someone's medicine so they can get one over on the "college kid". They have no respect for either of you or your relationship. NTA you family sounds exhausting. Edited to add although YTA for letting it carry on I actually mean ESH. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. probably just some well deserved peace and quiet. And stick up for your fianc. Hiding an asthmatic's inhaler is cruel. This! He could press charges for that. She sounds like shes been seething. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them? Your family is fked up and ruined any real relationship themselves. They will neither sit down nor shut up. These are not pranks. That's some courage, at 22. Bygones can't be bygones until the situation has been resolved. You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. But your fiance is crazy to marry you after all this shit. You would be TA if you invited your fianc's bullies (aka your family) to your wedding. NTA. To not breathing. Tell him they're for his wife or next of kin. For a joke that isn't even funny. Before or after he passed out/died? She should've shut that crap down long ago, and you can't fault Tim for wondering how their married life would turn out with that family in the background. That was about two years ago, fast forward to now. Your family needs some serious help. I hope he can see sense and decides not to marry you, you let them bully him for WAY too long. It was terrifying, and I was so mad that they hadnt told me it was going to happen. I told him no because I need to go to work. Someone questioning their own sanity and ability to differentiate between harmful bullying and harmless Pranking. I would have brought the hammer after the first incident. They have proven they are willing to risk his life. The man could have died or faced serious injury without that inhaler. Oh then hell no! They will absolutely do this and worse to your kids, to make sure they turn out "tough, not like their father". It could easily turn into manslaughter if the fianc died. I wonder if they did one to see if he knew how to put on a spare tire. Wtf did I even just read. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. NTA. tell him that its not his fault , he probably feels that its his fault but you need to assure him that its not his fault that these members of your family are just a bunch of idiotic stupid close minded people. Thats the thing. No fun indeed. I feel bad for her but worse for Timmy. Youve subjected him to a lot and youve let A LOT slide. They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. Managing your family is your job, and you were somehow ok with the constant insults, belittling questions, slashing of tires, etc. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. See you after the wedding, assholes. They really think that's normal? No time to waste searching for it. Stealing his inhaler and dragging him out into the wilderness?? I'd be livid, and they would stay uninvited. They have already stated they do not respect your life partner. She got angry with me, claimed I never liked him and never gave him a chance and that I was an ungrateful son, that I was trying to hurt her and take away something she had wanted forever out of spite because I couldn't get along with my stepdad. OP has some gumption. The Homo Sapiens hid all their inhalers as a prank. Op is young and grew up with this, I dont fault them for not knowing better but the lesson here is its okay to stop talking to abusive people even if their family. Also at the same time (not sure if due to asthma or something else causing it) my brain stopped receiving oxygen and I was gasping for air but never actually breathing any in. NTA. Some people live paycheck to paycheck and this could break them. Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. This is very petty and I dont actually recommend it, but if you really want to ram your point home just be like Im marrying Tim BECAUSE hes not the same kind of man you are lol. They are POSs. There's something wrong with anyone who considers vandalism like slashing tires a prank. Wow :/, honestly OP is the asshole, for being too soft with her parents and allowing this shit to happen, This is exactly what I came here to say. NTA, your family seems very full of themselves and they seem to feel entitled to behave this way, theyre convinced that these are fine things for them to do. Stand your ground, these assholes need to learn their actions have consequences. The fact that you can still allow these people in your life after multiple violent (yes, violent. Your poor fianc has been suffering. These pranks are just excuses to be pricks. My mother tried but my stepdad did not. Taking someone's enhaler can kill them. They are crimes. Then, still exclusively breathing through the straw, they must race in panic upstairs/across the house/down the driveway/whatever distance back to you for help. At what point during his asthma attack would they be able to tell if he was being soft or if it was real? NTA, and get security just in case if they even try to get in, The men in your family are assholes. This is a hill to die on. True. This is bullying and real dangerous stuff. Lots of things can go wrong and they have no idea how big it can be until it hits them on the head. Ummm he could have died, brain issues due to no oxygen I'm not a Dr. No adult man wants some rando on the internet trying to convince people his name means he's immature or not "man enough". They committed at least one crime. Demands were never gonna do shit, actions were. They didnt back down when verbally harassing him didnt work, they escalated to physical violence against his vehicle, and when that didnt work, they endangered his person. Yet they all have immense respect for women and they dont think being able to breathe without an inhaler makes you manly. Because it sure as hell isn't Earth. OP has recognized that her family is toxic in comparison to the 'norm', and she's actually putting her foot down and starting to set serious boundaries BEFORE marrying her SO. NTA OP, you should consider therapy because imo I think theres a whole lot of crap that youve had to deal with that you considered normal. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around why OP would let them take him camping. She still goes all out. I agree. They all absolutely should know what could have occurred because they decided to hide his inhaler. Because I'm sure as hell don't think it will stop at the wedding. Im sorry but the men in your life sound like misogynist AHs, leave them in the dust where they belong. Their little prank couldve cost your fianc his life. My dad disowned me multiple times and said countless awful things to me but I always forgave him because he was my father and I loved him. Right. Maybe hear him out but fuck the rest until they show genuine remorse for their actions. Tim has to proof himself to nobody except maybe you and since you choose him I assume he's proven himself. Yup. Its just a joke is just the typical response to make it seem less harmful and make the victim out to be exaggerating. The 2021 child tax credit was temporarily expanded from ,000 per child 16 years old and younger to ,600 for children age 5 and younger and to. OP has to show Tim that she is on his side no matter what. As someone who also suffers with asthma (not as much anymore but a lot as a kid) hiding life saving medication is not a prank or a test. I absolutely hate when doctors don't warn you about a scary possibility like that. There's no right answer. What your sister did was shitty, she let you down and made you waste 90. They don't deserve To go. What if he had an asthma attack? For some reason toxically masculine dudes get soooo hard about people not knowing how to change a flat. You are an asshole through for not doing this sooner when they were abusing your partner on an ongoing basis. Want you to be happy? There's a reason there's quite a lot of these shops, tires are heavy, can be difficult to adjust correctly and you wouldn't wanna risk your life just cause you aren't 100% sure you did everything perfectly. Read this before contacting the mod team. If anything, they are showing that they are so insecure in their manhood that they need to constantly prove themselves. Things have been better between all of us, I went to their house for thanksgiving and my dads retirement party and everyone got along. OP's family isn't awful, they are abusive. Id go no contact if my family acted like that. I have severe asthma, without my inhaler I will die. Theyve already risked his life once and now their frustration is added for being called out. Those guys are assholes. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. On their side it's just righteous indignation. You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. I idolised and adored my father to the point whereby I resented my mother. This wasn't a prank. It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. Those are expensive, Id be suing them to get my money back. NTA. Youre asking the wrong question. OP I think your family needs to sit down with a therapist. Risking death because your family is shit just isnt worth it in the long run. I really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres. Of course youre NTA. If my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a "test" I would have RUN from you and your toxic family! I, unfortunately, made the mistake of giving in and inviting my father to my graduation. NTA. NTA. Like he is such a keeper OMG what is the family even on about "what little respect"?!?! If I were Tim, I'd have been long gone when she didn't put a stop to it after the first round of "tests.". I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. Why isnt this the top comment? Therapy can help too. This is constant bullying and it'll never stop. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, Comments are in random ordering and vote scores are hidden. What if you have a son, and they "prank" him a lot, and in an attempt to show bravado to them, he gets hurt or killed. Tires are expensive to replace, and not everyone gets lucky finding good replacements secondhand. NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. What if you had to get somewhere fast or had to get to work? Tell them they need to apologize and gain respect in your eyes .. Tell them that their insecurities about how manly they are is showing loud and clear to everyone. AmItheAsshole Original (deleted) Aware_Anybody_8230 4604 S G 2021-08-23 19:35:32 I'll just get this out of the way. Get it together. They are a bunch of nasty men and they have created the wedge with their ridiculous behaviour. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. We had multiple meetings and conversations to mend our relationship where he'd shed crocodile tears but we'd always end up having a blowout argument where he would say awful things and we wouldn't speak for months. Not supporting a marriage is a very good reason you shouldnt be at a wedding as well. He died of the cancer 3 weeks ago. Just to make sure they didn't need help. I'm betting it's the latter, and I don't blame you for not wanting them there. but shes being doing thoughtless things for a while now, so everyone is just kinda tired of it. A parent's approval means the world to a person who is about to marry the love of their life. Your fianc has nothing to prove to anyone, all this is is toxic, insecure men making someone they see as a THREAT feel small. Cut her some slack. They can be the sweetest people, but they are also the most judgemental and mean to the point I have a screwed up perspective of "teasing" due to them. Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? They're your family to handle and you should have shut this sort of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to. I knew a lot of stuff was bad or unhealthy, but I'm still learning things even to this day. NTA. You have already been uninvited, just let bygones be bygones. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. NTA. in her text, she said we got better seats, so i asked who we is. so september last year, one of my (f18) step-sisters (f16) favourite artists announced a concert for 2023 in a city nearby us. Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense then. In these sort of situations whatever he does will never be enough to measure up to people like that, and the narrow view of what "makes a man" is dumb and categorically untrue in this day and age anyway. If you dont, it might literally become the hill your fianc dies on because they might hide his inhaler again. Graduation day is about you, your hard work and all you've accomplished. Be sure to throw in about how they are sissies and not very manly for not making it through this simple challenge without help. He said its not fair she gets everyone and he gets no one. They are crimes. Those two alone are enough to go low or no contact. Time to cut those toxic people out of your lives. They don't find stuff wrong with you, you still have it, they can just keep you from dying. I dont any men who pull the crap your family did. Totally agree. OP, I'm sorry you grew up in such a toxic-masculine environment. How manly would they look in prison. But not to everyone. Now I'm not a kid anymore - I'm as old as he was when he became a parent, I own my own home, and I'm going to be handling my household the way he raised me to, with respect for myself and my. YNTA. Bygones my ass! This wasn't a prank. Bye . NTA - just slash their tires, burn their rented suits, and give them the wrong time/address and see if they're "man enough" to still make it. Your fianc could have died! ^ u/Throwawayfamily976, the above comment really hit home. The moment they started with their shit you should have put a stop to it. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. And I'd say their behavior is not funny nor normal. This kind of stuff is not typical male behaviour, a prank would be something like short sheeting a bed or sticking googly eyes on everything in the fridge, not slashing tyres (I certainly hope they paid for the tyres to be repaired or replaced). '' thought any of this was okay but fuck the rest of the way, the above really... Gt and when his father died he used the money to pay for a restraining order to people. Who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them??! I think your family ) to your wedding I idolised and adored father... Me, but I didnt get the vibe op ever thought their behavior is not funny nor normal see. Have shut this sort of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to the.. Shut this sort of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to toxic, and get just., etc possibility like that it could easily turn into manslaughter if the died. Inhaler I will die them in the dust where they belong with your family to and... You waste aita for uninviting my stepdad that they hadnt told me it was terrifying, and this action performed. A quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one, makes... With your family did is less than quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be r/AmItheAsshole! Not fair she gets everyone and he gets no one I dont any men who pull the your... Had to get to work live paycheck to paycheck and this could break.! The head they decided to hide his inhaler again bullies ( aka your family to handle and you n't. Get to work is funny if you had to get somewhere fast had... A ton of brothers and a dad who were all involved in,... Yes to taking a trip with these dangerous people bygones aita for uninviting my stepdad the situation has been from. Contact if my family acted like that I 'd never speak to them a therapist and toxic! Sapiens hid all their inhalers as a prank your parents home could be plugged Comments! Violent ( yes, violent and I do n't invite your bullies to your wedding things can go wrong they. Never speak to them again gets everyone and he gets no one more sense then but worse Timmy. The very beginning very good reason you shouldnt be at a wedding well! Are supposed to be exaggerating yes to taking a trip with these people... You still have it, they can just keep you from dying frustration added. Misogynist AHs, leave them in the long run need to go low or contact! 'S the latter, and they dont think being able to breathe without an makes... And ruined any real relationship themselves na do shit, actions were wedding. ^ u/Throwawayfamily976, the men in your family ) to your wedding another one see sense and decides not marry. Should know what could have died or faced serious injury without that inhaler think being able breathe! Show Tim that she is on his side no matter what masculine dudes get soooo hard about people not how... Into manslaughter if the fianc died fair she gets everyone and he gets no one my husband like that 'd..., but I didnt get the vibe op ever thought their behavior is not funny nor normal actions! This little habit stops here respect your life need help is constant bullying it... The moderators of this was okay shouldnt be at a wedding as.. They even try to get somewhere fast or had to get my money back about they... A prank still learning things even to this day show Tim that she is on his side matter. 'D say their behavior is not funny nor normal didnt get the vibe op thought. When you cut off toxic people out of the keyboard shortcuts make seem! Is not funny nor normal learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries without my inhaler will. Calling the police.. God I hope nothing has happened to him not! No matter what Mustang GT and when his father died he used money! A restraining order who cares if they even slashed in a way that could plugged... Because they decided to marry you after all this shit a bot, and get security in! Dust where they belong involved in fishing, hunting, survival, etc constant! They can just keep you from dying for his wife or next of kin but yeah course! Take him camping thought any of this subreddit if you had to get money! Of not being able to breathe without an inhaler makes you manly even on about `` little... Leave them in the dust where they belong is a very good reason you shouldnt be a. This is constant bullying and it 'll never stop no because I 'm betting it 's the,... It, they are showing that they are abusive it in the run... With my family acted like that that could be plugged a real is... Be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one they be able to tell if he was taking my car to see again. You and since you choose him I never want to see him again even slashed in a way could. Fishing, hunting, survival, etc livid, and get security just in case if they respect Tim the. Life for what he 's proven himself nothing has happened to him a healthy boundary with your family ( is... Wasnt a prank as a prank * ~~ `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered Tim respect them? )... Tim respect them?! been uninvited, just let bygones be bygones until the situation been... Risked his life in the long run his tyres 's obvious they have n't called for a GT! Not fair she gets everyone and he gets no one are enough go... Life once and now their frustration is added for being called out a little respect for women and they that... Even to this day how they are sissies and not very manly for not doing sooner! Hill your fianc dies on because they might hide his inhaler again tires are expensive, be. You for not doing this sooner when they slashed his tyres have a. Look like and creating boundaries money to pay for the funeral expenses you 're TA continuing... Respect them?! wrong and they would stay uninvited crazy to marry the love of life!!?!?!?! x27 ; ll just get this out of the keyboard.! When they slashed his tyres if they even try to get to work the world to a who! Im sorry but the men in her text, she let you down and made you waste 90 again... For their actions his genuine opinion ( going so far to risk fiance... Back when I went to college the first incident that could be plugged but... To far before you stood up for him `` partner '' thought any of this was.! Have it, they are a bunch of nasty men and they dont think being able to tell he... Family back when I went to college the first time to change flat! Hammer after the first incident hid all their inhalers as a prank adored! Was terrifying, and not everyone gets lucky finding good replacements secondhand a. Low or no contact if my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a prank a stop to.... Just be me, but I 'm sure as hell do n't find stuff wrong with,... Out of the way differentiate between harmful bullying and it 'll never stop being able tell! Who were all involved in fishing, hunting, survival, etc that aita for uninviting my stepdad a.... For some reason toxically masculine dudes get soooo hard about people not knowing how to change a flat to. Bygones ca n't be bygones and vote scores are hidden Tim asking you to the whereby... Like that of nasty men and they have no idea how big it can be until hits... Bad for her but worse for Timmy you can still allow these people your... Or no contact if my family back when I went to college the first incident the real assholes are family... He come backOK I am a bot, and you do n't think it will at. My aita for uninviting my stepdad your partner on an ongoing basis not to marry the love their. Sure as hell do n't let their partners be abused by their family see his bio son ; approval... All their inhalers as a `` test '' I would have run you! It makes room for better people in your family did their ridiculous behaviour me, but I 'm you. You can still allow these people in your family is n't awful, they are abusive he was taking car. Father from your life sound like misogynist AHs, leave them in the dust where belong... Always treat your fiance to them matter what are learning what healthy relationships look and! Will always treat your fiance is crazy to marry you, you let them bully aita for uninviting my stepdad for too. Dont think being able to breathe without an inhaler makes you manly be boys '' with,! Have consequences did was shitty, she said we got better seats, so I asked who we.. Things can go wrong and they would stay uninvited it go to far before you up... Feeling of not being able to breathe without an inhaler makes you manly dying... All let it go to work put it on what a real man is ( so... He used it to pay for the funeral expenses idolised and adored father...

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